$PAM-o-GRAM
SPAM-O-GRAM MULTI-LEVEL-MARKETING = MILLIONS of $$$$$
Yes, you can make MANY millions of $$$$ selling the IDEA of selling Spam,
America's most beloved mystery meat, over the Internet. People will happily
send you, yes YOU, all of their money so that they can receive the secret
of selling Spam directly on the EXPLODING Internet.
Remember, you don't have to sell Spam yourself. That's what's so great! You'll be selling the IDEA of selling Spam. People will eat it up (the idea, not the Spam.)
Why should people have to deal with opening messy cans when they can receive Spam directly on their computer? And, why should you have to work at a messy job for a living when you can get FREE MONEY from other people who want to learn how to sell Spam. This is a unique offer. Believe me, no one else is crrently showing people how to spam Spam.
The closely guarded secret is in our patented (thank you Canter & Siegel) process for delivering encrypted mystery meat packets. Using our PGP (Perfectly Ground Pork) you, yes YOU, can make MILLIONS of $$$ by showing others how to spam Spam! For more info, send all the money you have to me and I'll make you rich!
Please forward this message to anyone else you know who might be interested in getting rich by sending me all of their money.
Spam is a registered trademark. SPAM-O-GRAM MULTI-LEVEL-MARKETING is not connected in any way, bad or good, to Hormel Meats, or any other meat companies. We do not endorse or encourage the indiscriminate distribution of digital meat on the Internet. This product is in no way connected with the so-called Spam King, a scam artist and miserable jerk posing as a poor little co-ed selling magazines. He muddies the good name of meat by-products.
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Date: Tue, 21 Nov 1995 15:05:51 -0600 (CST)
From: Jay Freels - Nashville, Tennessee
Subject: SPAM and UPPER case
>Dear Sir,
>
>In viewing YOUR web page concerning the spaming of SPAM it has come to our
>attention that YOU have USED without LICENSE two of OUR copyrighted and
>patented electronic properties. One - OUR RANDOM and needless UPPER casing of
>of WORDS; and TWO - the needless all upper CASE use of the words YOUR and YOU.
>If YOU do NOT cease and desist this at ONCE (or license these two techniques
>for the one TIME low price of $19.99) WE will be forced TO remove YOUR caps
>lock key.
>
>THANK YOU
>
>
>PS
>We have TAKEN the liberty to SEND this mail message to 10 of YOUR closest
>friends in the TRUE spirit of SPAM and the internet!
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wow! sorry!
if you promise not take away my caps lock, i will restrain from using all upper case letters!
thank god you don't own exclamation points!
and you're welcome!
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From: Paul Malingowski
>I'm truly thankful Mr. Weir. After aimlessly wandering the Web for more
>than a year searching for "An Edge" I found your perfect idea. Wouldn't it
>be great if we could somehow rekindle the old idea of giving away the Spam
>and selling the formerly free, formerly attached, can opening Key?
>We're talking millions and be assured my check is in the mail. Perhaps
>then, you could send me The Secret in advance?
>
>Paul
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My god, I thought I'd figured every angle on this Spam deal, but you've come up with yet another. Of course. It's brilliant. Only instead of needing the key to get the meat, as in the old style, now you would need a key to stop the digital meat from piling up in your CPU.
I'll be watching for the check and you can start watching for the Secret.
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From: Emily Bristor - Phoenix, Arizona
To: Bill Weir
Subject: Spam!
Hope you don't mind... I've spammed your spam message to a bunch of
friends, with attribution but not your email address (lest you get
respammed in return!). Wow, that would be Spam karma, wouldn't it....
Peace,
-Em
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Em!
No problem!
There is one condition. Since the aspiring Spam marketeers don't have my address, they'll
probably send all their money to you. When the money starts pouring into your E-mail box,
please forward half of it to me. I'll then forward the instructions for marketing digital Spam.
We'll both be rich!
You might let people know that we have this agreement so they don't think you're some greedhead who's going to take advantage of them.
Bill
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From: Emily Bristor
To: Bill Weir
Subject: Re: Spam!
It's a deal! That's how MLSM (MultiLevel Spam Marketing) works, isn't it?
Kind of like a tape tree or a chain letter, but with the extra added
thrill of mystery meat to spice it up. I'll tell ten friends, and
they'll tell ten friends, and so on, and so on,....
You, my friend, are truly Spamming the globe.
Peace,
-Em
(This message will spamtaneously combust (greasily!) in the time it takes
to eat a can of Spam.)
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Bill-
Thanks for the opportunity!
The Check is in the Mail.
I'm waiting for my spam!
Steven Bradford
Film & Video Camera and Lighting
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steve!
I'm so glad you had the sense to send it via mail! Read below about the frightening situation with another wealth seeker.
Bill
P.S. I am selling the IDEA of selling Spam, not Spam itself. I am sending Spam FREE only to those sad individuals who doubt my sincerity (unlike yourself, of course).
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Great idea. I've attached a ten-dollar bill to the end of this message.
Please send me more information.
Laurie Nyveen
__________________________________________________________
Editor, Netsurfer Digest - http://www.netsurf.com/nsd/index.html
DNRC Minister of Adding "ue" to Words That End in "log"
"All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys."
- Grandma Woody (Northern Exposure)
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Laurie!
Somebody intercepted your message! By the time it arrived, the money was gone AND they
had debited $10 from my cyber bank account. Am I ever peeved! This whole
money-encryption-commerce deal has a LONG ways to go.
I will try to send more info but first I have to drive down to my cyber bank and straighten this whole thing out in person. When I called, they said it was not a secure phone line and I would have to talk to a real person in the flesh. Geesh! Then, after that, I have to encrypt some digital meat packets to send out to a few skeptics who want proof of this thing before they'll send me all their money. It's a sad world we live in.
As a matter of fact, if I don't get this whole money-encryption-commerce deal straight I could soon owe money to everyone on the Net instead of becoming fabulously rich.
I just wish people could send me digital money as easily as I can send them digital meat.
I'll be back at ya later.
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Hi Bill,
I forwarded your Spam message to my wife. She handles all of our money!!!!!
I can just hear the Monty Python "Spam, Spam, Spam" song in the background....
_______________________________________________________________
John E. Preece "And the seeds that were silent all
Department of Plant and Soil Science burst into bloom" -Robert Hunter
Southern Illinois University
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John!
...wonderful Spam!
Believe me, I understand about the spouse/money dilema! This is a BIG problem in our country. Maybe the biggest. It's a problem for both men and women. Millions of poor working people are wandering the streets hungry and tired, while their spouses live it up! Now that I have solved the problem of sending digital meat packets, it may be my next project.
Try hiding some in your socks (money that is, not Spam.)
Bill
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Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 11:20:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ken Kesey - Pleasant Hill, Oregon
Subject: Re: Send Spam Furthur For Fun & Profit!!!
spam on
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To: Bill Weir
From: William Murray - Seattle
Subject: NetSpam
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 10:45:38 -0700
Dear Bill,
Well you're right on the money on this one-- I've passed this on to a few
folks whom I perceive as having the wisdom to recognize the immense value
and potential of this dynamic idea!
Let me know when the money starts pouring in. Or the Spam.
'See ya! Bill
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From: Levi Asher - Brooklyn, N.Y.
Subject: Re: Spamming For Fun & Profit!
Bill, you're a genius.
Spam the Spam. Sounds like an 80's MTV band.
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From: Ward Kaatz - Seattle
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 1995 22:04:31 PDT
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$is$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Date: Fri, 6 Oct 95 23:40 EET
To: Bill Weir
From: Steve Gustafson - South Africa
Subject: Spam, Cow Patties, and Nickles
Your on quite a roll here aren't you!
gus
"Hey Louie, gimme a spam on a roll"
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Date: Sat, 7 Oct 1995 08:16:56 +1000
To: Bill Weir
From: Rick Hale - Australia
Subject: Spamming Spam For Fun & Profit!
Bill
It'll mean your fortune...and ...gives ME an idea...VEGEMITE!
s'pose I'll have to pay you royalty's...
...well deserved,
>Rick
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From: Stanton McCandlish - Director of Electronic Frontier Foundation
Subject: Unwanted spam to EFF List
At some point we need to set up a listserver that rejects posts from people not on the list...
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Stanton!
Let's not throw out the Spam with the spam! Please consider Spam-o-Gram.
Spam-o-Gram is NOT a spam. It is a CAUSE. Admittedly, the CAUSE is to make me fabulously wealthy, but it is, none the less, an important moment in history - the line has been crossed. No longer is mere "information" available on the Net.
What some people call 'spam' is ruining the fine name of Spam. I think EFF must MOVE QUICKLY to protect the right to send digital meat packets.
You be the judge.
Bill
P.S. You don't have to send me all your money, but if you could tell all your friends and Eff staffers to send me all their money, I would appreciate it.
P.P.S. Although some people are concerend that Spam (not 'spam') is a precious commodity and must be 'preserved'. I say no, Spam (not 'spam') wants to be free!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Stanton McCandlish
Subject: Re: spam
To: Bill Weir
Try decaf. ;-)
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Stanton!
In these parts (Seattle) those are fighting words. :Ðo
I don't know if you've had the pleasure of spending much time here, but besides spending time on the 'puter, we drink lots of espresso. (Maybe sending espresso over the Net is the real killer app.) If you ever swing into town, I'll treat you to the best around. Decaf is the Spam (not 'spam') of coffee.
Keep up the good work.
Yours
Bill
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From: Stanton McCandlish
Subject: Re: spam
To: Bill Weir
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 1995 03:16:27 -0400 (EDT)
Kiddin'. I hate decaf. Thanks for the offer. Not sure if/when I'll be in
seattle though. Probably not until that damn grunge music thing dies out. >:)
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Hi Bill---
What a great idea! I'm suprised you're not a millionaire by now. I've got some
great ideas on accessory products related to the spam product. How about some
software/hardware that provides the user with the capability to both smell and
taste spam as they read their monitor. It'd be great!!! The cpu could dispense a
small blast of gas with a spam-like smell while a box mounted to the side of the
monitor simultaneously releases an arm which reaches for the tongue and drops a
hit of spam disguised as a pill.
Aftermarket items---- supply the cartridges of gas and hits of spam and mark
them up 10 times after attaining patent rights. This is the true american
dream---- a monopoly dude!!!!! The possibilities are endless. Let's do lunch
babe.
Cia'
Mike
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Mike!
Sounds fantastic. Let's start working on the prototype. In the meantime, feel free to send the original Spam-o-Gram to everyone you can think of (that is, everyone who has any $$$$) Please send me half the money and all interesting responses you get back.
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Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 11:00:31 -0600
From: Tom McElroy/Open Egg Studio
To: Bill Weir
Subject: Re: SPAM-O-GRAM = MILLIONS of $$$ (Warning! Spam content)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.frank-zappa
WOW I've lived in a fallout shelter for the past 30 years, and existed on
only spam and tang. my pet fly and sex partner MR. FLY now weighs 45 lbs.
and is 18 in. long ( He says its the tang,I thinks its the spam)
I'm glad that I was rescued last year,and I'm glad that the rest of the
nation recognises the nutritional value of spam. --
atomic elroy
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Atomic!
I've always believed that if you call any vegetable, the chance are good the vegetable will respond to you. Evidently, the same applies to Spam!
Open Egg Studio. Great name.
Please send the Spam-o-Gram to everyone you can think of (that is, everyone who has any $$$$) Please send me and any good responses/money you get to the Spam-o-Gram. You can keep half of the money for yourself.
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From: Doug Otto/SMC
Date: 11 Oct 95 18:00:20 EDT
Subject: SPAMIDY SPAM!!!!!
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
>$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Doug!
Whew! Thanks! Just in time! My cyber bank account was getting mighty low.
However, I think somebody intercepted the message and took one $ from the first row. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and it is really bugging me!
I won't rest till I find it. It's the principle of the thing. I am going to search the ENTIRE EXPLODING INTERNET until I find that missing $.
Thanks again.
Bill
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Date: Wed, 22 Nov 1995 15:15:19 +0100
From: Anders Carlsson
Organization: Everyday Communication - www.everyday.com
Box 2001 103 11 STOCKHOLM SWEDEN
I just found a $ in my mailbox, and it had your name on it...
Here you go : $
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Thanks Anders!
I've been tearing apart the ENTIRE EXPLODING INTERNET looking for that one $. If you find any more $, please send them to me, because I can always use one more $.
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From: Thommy - Wiesbaden, Germany
>Hi and congratulations to your c00l page!
>
>just found a little bug in the text and wanted you to know ;)
>you write something like on the "EXPLODING Interet. "
>
>keep on doin« such stuff !
>
>bye
> Thomy
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I won't try to convince you that this is a whole new thing called "Interet".
Or that the "r" EXPLODED.
The truth is that I never could spel very wel ;Ð)
Thanks!
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From: Mike Horak
Just another example of the blatant example of exploiting the exSPAMding
internet market.
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