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If you are under, or over, 21 and do not wish to be amused by A Screenwriter's Musings, leave now!

If you expect to be educated, informed or edified, either spiritually, mentally or physically, take a hike.

If you can transpose the last three letters in your mother's maiden name into corresponding numbers, and the total equals more than ten but less than 32, get the hell out.

If any of your I.M. Force has been caught or killed...

Well, you get the picture. Or you will.